Share your story and help make hope happen for others.
Scott -
It is my hope that my story will help others suffering from addiction to realize that there is a solution to your problems; one addict helping another to stay clean. My name is Scott Paul and I have been clean and sober for over 4 years now. My drug of choice was Methamphetamine and I used it for over 12 years.
I don’t know if I can describe accurately the way Meth affected my life and my body. When I got clean, I looked just like the pictures everyone is so familiar with. I was 130 lbs. thinner than I am today, I had one front tooth left in my mouth and that was half gone, I had sores all over my body from picking at my skin because of hallucinations of bug crawling on me. The affect on my state of mind and my memory was devastating. I was highly suicidal with many attempts, extremely depressed, paranoid, very angry and irritable, constant feeling of hopelessness and delusional.
My memory was so affected that I could not remember things like names of people I had known for years, what I did the day before, things people had just said to me…Meth had consumed my life in every way imaginable. I had lost my marriage, not talked to my daughter for six years, alienated my family, stole from family and friends to support my habit and ended up homeless 1800 miles from home in Apache Junction Arizona. I had been in and out of jail to many times to remember. I felt utterly lost!
It came to a time in my life when I couldn’t go on any further living like I as. I was angry with any god that could have done this to me, so I thought. I set out one day to use until I was dead by my hands or someone else’s. I would always use alone as I hated anyone and everyone. I drove out into the middle of the country, as I did frequently, in a car that was not mine. After using and being a wake for many days, I was in a severe state of hopeless suicide. I had what some would call a moment of clarity. I call it spiritual experience. Before taking another hit off a foily, I looked into the rear view mirror to see if anyone was coming. Instead I saw something quite different, my own eyes. I felt something was showing me my true self through my own eyes. I saw the person I had not seen in many years, a boy who wanted a way out. I also felt incredible warmth come over my body like something was trying to tell me things were going to be okay. I did not know what that meant but the next day I found myself going in for a rule 25 assessment. 3 days later I was admitted to New Beginnings for the 45-day Meth Program.
That was just over 4 years ago and my life has been beyond my wildest dreams ever since. Today, the compulsion to use alcohol and drugs is gone. This is all thanks to god, as I understand him through AA & NA. I have developed a manner of living that does not require me to get high anymore. Today, everything in my life is good. I am back at my normal weight of 265 lbs; I have a full set of teeth, my complexion is great, my memory greatly improved and I am in college full time with a 3.98 GPA. I also work full time at the place that saved my life, New Beginnings treatment center. I am grateful to managing a new program form Methamphetamine and Cocaine addicts to help prepare them for treatment. I cannot put into words how different my life is today.
To anyone that is thinking of try drugs, please don’t! I missed out on 18 years of my life, 6 years of watching my daughter grow up, hurting myself and a lot of people because all that was important to me was getting high. Believe me when I tell you that there was a time in my life when I said to myself that I would never do the things I did. If you are using drugs, please know from one addict to another, there is always hope for recovery. You can never go too far down the hole to not recover and turn your life around. I and hundreds of other people, like me, have recovered and lead very productive lives. If you know someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, consider an intervention. You just might help save their life.
Peace be to all, Scott
William -
1.) Name: William K. McNellis
2.) Length of sobriety: Since December 16, 2006
3.) Drug(s) of choice: Alcohol, Marijuana, Methamphetamine
4.) Can you Describe the grip drugs had on your life:
Meth became THE most important thing in my life
5.) Can you express for us the impact on your quality of life, the choice of abusing drugs ultimately had?
I put getting high before everything; work, family and my health. Things I had cherished the most became non-existent.
6.) If you were to speak with anyone thinking of experimenting with drugs, what advice do you feel is important to share with them.
This high felt right away, it's the only thing you notice. Everyone else sees the consequences in you before you see it in yourself.
7.) Is there a moment or event that you remember, which helped you to understand the need for you to get sober?
The concern for my family and friends had and when the law eventually caught up with me.
8.) How can individuals help a loved one who is dealing with substance abuse?
I really believe in tough love. Stay on the person with the problem and do whatever it takes to get them help!
